Living independently

Duration: 4:02

I strongly believe that if we do it right when kids are young, we have independent mature adults in life who will know what they need and get what they need, but who don't have to reply on agencies to find their value in life. I guess it's my mission with each child and it doesn't really depend on the amount of disabilities, whether it's one or more really, how at the age of 19, 20, 21 can we support you so you go in life and be who you want to be and do what you want to do, have relationships with who you want to have relationships with, have friends with people that are your choice. How can we set you up for that, because that is what life is all about.

And I think we're getting there slowly. We have doing this for about 20 years. I've been in it a long time, so I've seen a generation, probably two move on. I've seen some of them become extremely successful people. I've seen some of them have wonderful relationships. I've seen some, I've seen their children, really, what a privilege that is. They move on in life. They become their own person. They have their own relationship and then they have their children. I just think there are no words to describe that, when you see people turn out like that.

And I think every parent wants that for their child, that they find their happiness and that they find their identity, who they are, who they want to be and that carries them in their life and that's what I want too for all the children I work with. And if you have a child that is multi-disabled, it requires a lot more input, it requires a lot more support, but in a way it can be done too. It just requires a lot of extra thinking and a lot of extra work.

I have to say, I'd like to for every parent, when their child is 13 and 14, I know it's a difficult thing to start thinking, "Where do I want my child to live when they leave home?" And I know that is a confrontational thought because a lot of parents want their child to stay at home because they think they are the best people to look after them. But life is not eternal for any of us, so sooner or later, I think that child needs to move away from home. I'd like to think that we could have 6 or 7 years of finding the right place. Because the right place is not about the name or where it is. It's about the people that run it and the people that you need to trust.

Families I work with, I tell them about this that I will be coming at that time and warn them that I will say, "OK, so where do you want your child to live?" Because most children move out at some stage in their life and this child should move out too. And they're not very grateful when I say it, but I raise it a few times and with some families I can actually say, "Let's go and have a look at a few places, let's find some, talk to the people. Build a picture of what it could be like". It doesn't need to be a fast process. Sometimes a parent waits until a child is 20 and it has to become a fast process and they end up in situations where there is no other option. No child should ever live in a place because there is no other option. Every child should have options, also multi-disabled children.